FAQ
What do those dollar signs in the “price” section of your reviews mean?
The dollar signs designate, in approximately five dollar increments, the amount of money Ravenous Rob had to spend at the establishment to be well satisfied.
Do restaurants ever provide you with free meals?
No, but Ravenous Rob wishes they would.
I know a great restaurant that isn’t reviewed on your site. Why not?
There are three possible reasons: (1) Ravenous Rob knows about it, but has been too lazy to write a review for it; (2) Ravenous Rob doesn’t know about it, for ignorance is his companion; (3) it isn’t as nearly great as you think it is, and Ravenous Rob is deliberately ignoring it. If you think you can deal with the possible blow to your ego, send e-mail to Ravenous Rob with your restaurant finds if you don’t see them on the site. Should a tip of yours result in a new review, you will be given second author credit, just like any good graduate student slave.
Do you ever intend to offer recipes?
We’ll cross that Rubicon when we come to it.
I don’t like something about you and/or the website. What should I do?
Write Ravenous Rob a letter explaining your grievance(s). If it’s sufficiently funny or stupid, Ravenous Rob may post it for the world to see, so you can share in his inconsiderable fame.
I tried one of the restaurants you recommended and it was lousy. What gives?
The restaurant business is mercurial, to say the least, and restaurants can experience sudden declines (although they almost never experience sudden improvements). Ravenous Rob tries to keep the reviews here up-to-date as best as possible, and restaurants that are no longer recommendable will be moved into the “R.I.P.” catagory. In the end, however, the most likely explanation is that you are an uncultured lout with no appreciation for good food.
You seem to have an unjustifiably high opinion of yourself. Why is that?
That is because Ravenous Rob’s cultural sub-group is East Coast Intellectual Snob.
Do you speak Japanese and/or Chinese?
Ravenous Rob speaks miserably adequate Japanese. His Chinese is limited almost entirely to words for food, secret words that they never, ever tell you in a formal language class. In a Chinese class all too many years ago, Ravenous Rob was taught the word for “military attache,” but not the word for “dumpling.” Ridiculous! The educational institutions of the world obviously need to do an about-face in this matter. What better way could there be to motivate students than to teach them vocabulary that will allow them to obtain delicious food? Pedagogists of the world, take note!
What do you think of the slow food movement?
Taken to its logical conclusion, it leads to constipation.
I’m genetically defective and can’t appreciate the taste of cilantro. What should I do?
Oh, you poor, poor, soul.
I noticed that you don’t have reviews for any vegetarian restaurants. Why is that?
First of all, Ravenous Rob would like to point out that human beings are omnivores, not herbivores. That being said, Ravenous Rob loves vegetables, but he has yet to find a vegetarian restaurant he actually likes, so no reviews. Note, however, that because Ravenous Rob’s Restaurant Reviews is a Fair and Balanced web site, there are no reviews for carnivore restaurants, either.
I’m some crazy stalker lady from the internet. Can I have your babies?
No. Lady Ravenous Rob would be most displeased.